I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
