so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sext me about skeletons
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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