it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
