i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
