I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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