Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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