It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize