wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize