gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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