Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
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There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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