My nipple is on Facebook.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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