dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize