hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
