it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
