I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
