id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dignity is for republicans.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
