Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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