Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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