woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
