So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
