im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do vagina's smell?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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