Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
