I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
