WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
