I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
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