Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
