she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this must be what syphilis tastes like
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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