this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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