Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
