i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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