I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
