We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
