Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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