my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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