Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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