Where did you get a picture of my penis
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
