Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Found the puke drawer
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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