but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
