trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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