Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
