Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
