im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
