I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
