just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
