oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
