Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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