So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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