i think my tv is drunk
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
