you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize