It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
