is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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