And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
