Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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