My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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