for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
