That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.