roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
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also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah