Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just want to make out with him forever
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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