Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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