3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
