1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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