It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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